The Hilarity of 74
by Gin Nanashi
Summary: What happens when you throw a devilish soul into the craziness known as KHR? Simple. Pure, pure crack. (Discontinued)
1. Crack 01: The Reason Behind It All

Date Started: Saturday, September 25, 2010  
Date Released: Sunday, September 26, 2010  
Title: The Hilarity of 74  
Author: Gin Nanashi  
Creation Type: FanFiction, "Crack"  
Main Rating: M  
Disclaimer: Gin Nanashi © Gin Nanashi; _Dear 59-kun_ © mangarox14; _Katekyou Hitman REBORN!_ © Amano Akira  
Summary: What happens when you throw a devilish soul into the craziness known as KHR? Simple. Pure, pure crack.

**

* * *

The Hilarity of 74**

_Crack 01: The Reason Behind It All_

* * *

The area was completely and utterly dark before a single spotlight shined on a figure standing on what appeared to be a stone stage. This figure, upon closer inspection, was revealed to be a female who's somewhere between being a teenager and being an adult. She stands at 5' 7" (or 170.2 cm) and is fairly androgynous. Her dark-brown hair is layered to her neck and her right eye is red while an eyepatch covered her left one. A smile played on her lips as the white cat on the black covering mimicked her expression. She bowed dramatically as her canines flashed in the light before her voice echoed in the dark room.

"Hello, fellow souls and random humans, UMAs and all other things that I'm too lazy to name~!"

She straightened up with a hand over her heart.

"Let me introduce myself to you!"

She held out a hand as white flames flickered and danced in the air, spelling out her name in various forms and adding more light to the darkness.

"I am called Nanashi Gin! (And, that's first name and then last, mind you.) But, just call me, 74-sama~!"

Her red eye flashed dangerously for a second as she added lowly, "Or, else…"

Suddenly, her eye curved up in a soft crescent as she chirped happily, "Now, then!"

With a flick of her wrist, the flames dissipated, taking the light away, before 74-sama clapped her hands together twice, making flames roar in the background as the area lit up dramatically.

"Welcome to my humble abode! Or, as it's better known as…"

She trailed off as her bangs shadowed her face and her canines glinted in the fire before proclaiming with wide arms.

"HELL~!"

The flames intensified at the declaration before settling down as 74-sama coughed lightly.

"Moving along…!"

She gave a small and (not) innocent smile, "You may be wondering what this FanFiction has to do with Akira Amano's _Katekyo Hitman REBORN!_ - which is more affectionately known to us fans as KHR."

Her smile turned into a fanged grin, "This (here) FanFiction is-!"

"YA HA~!"

The devilish soul twitched faintly at the sudden interruption.

"YOU GOT SOME JUNK, FUCKING BOSS!"

The boss of her lair coughed lightly before bowing apologetically with hands clapped together, "So sorry, guys! Just hang on for a bit!"

As 74-sama makes her towards one of the two doors in the room (which greatly resembled Musee Rodin's _The Gates of Hell_), the viewers might want to get a more detailed idea of this… Hell, as the master had put it.

The room is large, about 36 by 36 ft (or about 1097.3 by 1097.3 cm), with what appears to be wooden flooring. (Of course, that can't be true since wood would burn far too easily. Or, is it…? Only 74-sama knows for sure.) Flowing at the bottom of the stone walls (on which were inscriptions of various languages, predominantly Latin) was a "river" of lava that was about a foot (about 30.5 cm) in width which branched off into various smaller "lava rivers" of about an inch in width (or 2.5 cm) in a relatively simple layout of a heartagram in the center of the room. Off to one end of the room was a large California King-sized bed with violet and white linens and two bedside drawers; on one stood a black metal lantern while on the other was a green apple-shaped alarm clock. On the wall opposite _The Gates of Hell_ was another stone door though it was less dramatic, having only various flowers engraved in it. Finishing up, in the center of the room was a-

**BOOOOOOOOOM~!**

Smoke billowed out from _The_ (half-destroyed) _Gates of Hell_ as a twitching shadow was seen. The wisps began to clear to reveal 74-sama looking charred with several fingers missing on her right hand. A dark aura hovered over her as she growled.

"Mailbox-san, why did my letter blow up on me…?"

The red metal object began to shake as its bat-like wings fluttered in a panic, "Y-Ya ha… A-About that…"

Flames crackled around the master as her bangs shadowed her face, leaving only her red eye to glint dangerously as flames engulfed her mutilated hand. A torrent of sweat poured down Mailbox-san's quivering body.

"Well…?" Came the low prod, making the object squeak rapidly.

"Thatdoggypersonsent-thatletterinreplytoyours-PLEASEDON'TDESTROYMEMASTER~!"

Dot. Dot. Dot.

Silence reigned before 74-sama began to shake and cackle lowly before it intensified.

"KEKEKEKE~!"

Abruptly, the destructive intent evaporated as the flames dissipated, revealing a perfectly fine right hand. The master pranced towards the hovering silver-shelled and black-leather chair. Jumping onto the seat, 74-sama swiveled to face her semi-circle granite desk and opened her white laptop, singing.

"What an interesting guy he is~! To be able to track down my location~!"

Mailbox-san sighed in relief as its wings creaked softly, "Ya ha~ I forget about Master's strengths…"

Ignoring the animated object now…

The master had opened her laptop to check her e-mail and, lo and behold, she found what she was looking for. Her lips curled up to reveal her sharp canines once more as she briefly re-read the message she sent to the advice column known as _Dear 59-kun_. It appeared as followed:

_Dear Inu-dera,_

_(I don't expect a real answer. In fact, I'm only writing this to see if I can piss you off with such a random question. Anyway!) I keep seeing this old man pull dynamites from out of nowhere! Does he pull them out of his ass, or something? Of course, that's the only thing interesting about him since my real focus was on the cute uke-brunette behind him. (So, have I pissed you off yet?)_

_Sincerely (Not) Innocent,  
__Silver74_

In a stack format, there was but a single reply:

_Dear Happy Birthday, Asshat,_

_I hope you're happy, because the next time you wake up, you might be missing something…like a finger. Or three._

… _But that's not my fault, mind you. You provoked me. On fucking purpose. What'd you expect, daisies?_

"Kekekeke~!" Came the gleeful cackle as 74-sama brushed her tongue against her canines before cracking her knuckles, "Time to piss him off some more~!"

Fingers breezed across the keyboard as 74-sama appears to have forgotten about her original task-

**FWOOM~!**

-white flames obscured the omnipresent vision as the master snapped.

"FUCKING ANNOUNCER-SAN! BE GLAD THAT I STILL NEED YOU!"

The incorporeal Announcer-san sniffled a bit while continuing his job of narrating as 74-sama relaxed into her chair and snickered, "Besides, this is a part of my original task."

Returning to her laptop, 74-sama finished typing up her next message to the seemingly unknown "59-kun" of the advice column. (Of course, all KHR-fans know who this blogger is.) Hitting the send-button, the master stretched out her body before grinning cheekily as she re-read her e-mail:

_Dear Inu-dera,_

_I pissed you off and I am utterly amused by your threat~! But, I'll tell you this, you can try, but you'll never be able to harm me. Why? Because I am a diabolus. No, that's not a typo or a made-up word. Search it up if you're feeble mind can't comprehend anything further than your precious Decimus._

_Speaking of whom... I wonder how he'll react to my pet... Kekekeke~!_

_Sincerely Yours (In The Form Of A Nightmare),  
__Silver74_

Getting out of her chair, 74-sama whistled at the 16 kHz frequency. A white blur dashed through the still-destroyed gates before skidding to a stop at her feet. It was a male fox kit with white fur and bright golden eyes. His tail wagged happily as 74-sama ruffled his fur with a smirk.

"Want to play, Go-chan?"

"Yip!" Came the cute reply as the kit bounced a bit on his paws.

"Kekekeke~!" The master cackled before whipping out a picture from her hammer-space, "See this cutie here?"

Go-chan tilted his head and examined the picture. It showed a young teenager with fluffy light-brown hair and large light-brown eyes. He had a light grin on his face while walking alongside and chatting with two others (whose faces were doodled over with no chance of being recognizable). The kit wrinkled his snout and whined a bit.

The master gave a fanged grin, "It's nothing too difficult, Go-chan! Just find the uke and make friends with him, yeah?"

Golden eyes blinked before the kit perked up and nodded happily, bounding off in search of the poor vic-

**WHOOF~!**

-white flames obscured the area once again as a killing intent leaked out from 74-sama.

"Want to finish what you were trying to describe, Announcer-san?"

Dot. Dot. Dot.

Golden eyes blinked before the kit perked up and nodded happily, bounding off in search of the ever-lovable and extremely molest-able brunette known as Tsunayoshi Sawada~!

The master's red eye glinted as she cackled without regards.

"KEKEKEKE~! That's what I thought, Announcer-san!"

She then cleared her throat and straightened up, addressing the audience once again, "Anyway~!"

Plopping onto her comfortable chair again, 74-sama tapped her fingers together in a very "Mr. Burns' Excellent" gesture, which she does not own but enjoys mimicking from time to time.

Her red eye rolled upwards briefly before 74-sama gave a fanged grin, "Anyway! I was going to tell you what this FanFiction's all about, correct?"

She gestured to her laptop and continued, "I'm sure that at least one of you have read mangarox14's awesomeness about a certain bomber's advice column and his ever-dramatic life."

The master leaned forward with a devious grin, "Well, I've been faithfully reviewing the awesomeness ever since I first read it and my reviews have transformed into a small story in itself so..."

Flames bursted forth dramatically as she held out her arms and cackled loudly.

"WELCOME TO MY STORY IN WHICH I MESS WITH HIM AND OTHER KHR-CHARAS!"

Her eye flashed as she smirked.

"Don't die while reading now."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Yes, this is pure and utter crack. x3

This FanFiction story is dedicated to the ever-awesome **mangarox14** who is the author of _**Dear 59-kun**_ which you should all check out 'cause **it's just that awesomesauce**. (Not my word!)

I hope that this story will eventually rise to your expectations, love~! And, remember - RAWR! *hearts* -^^-


	2. Crack 02: Gochan's Return

Date Released: Tuesday, September 28, 2010  
Title: The Hilarity of 74  
Author: Gin Nanashi  
Creation Type: FanFiction, "Crack"  
Main Rating: M  
Disclaimer: Gin Nanashi © Gin Nanashi; _Dear 59-kun_ © mangarox14; _Katekyou Hitman REBORN!_ © Amano Akira  
Summary: What happens when you throw a devilish soul into the craziness known as KHR? Simple. Pure, pure crack.

**

* * *

The Hilarity of 74**

_Crack 02: Go-chan's Return_

* * *

A light-hearted whistle echoed through 74-sama's Hell as she typed away on her laptop with a fanged grin. Looking closer, it can be seen that 74-sama is typing a chapter for her story, _The Journal of Memories_, which can be abbreviated as TJoM. It appears to be about iceskating-

**FWOOSH~!**

"DON'T SPOIL IT, FUCKING NARRATOR!"

Flames roared around the master as Announcer-san cowered somewhere to continue his job before the master coughed and composed herself, closing the windows to her stories.

"Anyway…" She started, crossing her legs with a grin, "Welcome one and all to the second episode of _The Hilarity of 74_!"

Her grin tipped down as she crossed her arms, "But, as much as I would like to start this part, I've yet to see Go-chan return to me."

A light pout played on her lips as she tapped a forefinger on them, musing aloud, "I wonder what's keeping him…?"

She shrugged with a carefree smile, "Meh. He'll come sooner or later."

Swiveling back to her laptop, 74-sama opened up a browser with a smirk, "While we're waiting, let's check out the _Dear 59-kun_ column, yeah?"

Reading over the blog, 74-sama's expression slid into one of blankness as her red eye trailed down over the messages and replies. Her lips twitched lightly before-

"Pbbfft-!"

-she snorted, falling out of her seat while laughing hilariously.

"KEKEKEKE~! Xanxus, you fucker! You should've used a less-identifiable pseudonym!"

On the screen was a message reading:

_Dear bastard 59,_

_The idiotic gay bastard made me do this, so let's get to the fucking point. After that little piece of shit beat me, my fucking subordinates became more and more annoying than ever. What should I do? Should I just blow their damn heads or let them fucking be?_

_-X._

"Kekeke~!" The master began to calm down and flashed a fanged grin, "Inu-dera probably already figured you out, XX-Anus!"

The stack reply came as followed:

_Dear Asshole The Size of Texas,_

_You're a bastard. Who knows when they'll come in handy? If you blow them the fuck up, you'll just get screwed over by the shit who beat you the first time._

_Have fun with that, moron._

Dot. Dot. Dot.

A sweat trickled down the master's face as she looked away flatly, "Or, maybe not."

Her red eye glanced forwards as she waved a hand nonchalantly and drawled, "You guys agree, right?"

Her thumb jerked towards the reply message as she continued, "After all, if Inu-dera were to realize that it was XX-Anus, then he wouldn't have used "shit" to describe Tsuna-Fish who was the one to defeat the Varia's boss."

She shrugged and sighed exaggeratedly, "Oh well~! His mind _is_ rather feeble, after all~!"

A pause before a light grin played on her lips as her red eye sparkled, "Anyway! Let's talk about Tsuna-Fish~!"

Her grin turned into a devilish smile as she chuckled lowly, "Kekeke~! He's definitely the type who doesn't realize that he's completely and utterly glompable~!"

Sitting on the toasty floor, 74-sama began to zone out before startling with a sheepish grin, "Whoop! I still got this crack-fic to finish!"

She wiped away some trailing drool-

A vein irked as white flames flickered dangerously around her fingers.

-err… droplets of clear liquid on the side of her lips when-

"YA HA~! YOU GOT CRAP, BOSS!"

-Mailbox-san interrupted the story's flow.

THUNK!

A hammer slammed into Announcer-san despite his lacking a physical body as 74-sama cackled, "As if you haven't been doing that!"

Moving along…

The master sauntered over to _The_ (still-destroyed) _Gates of Hell_ and kicked a stone debris out of her way, watching briefly as it fell down a flight of stairs, before she turned to the red postal box.

"Well?" She drawled, holding out a hand, "Where's my junk?"

The animated object bounced a bit, wings fluttering, before spitting out a large parcel that seemed like it would've never fit into the tiny-

"WHO'S TINY, FUCKER?"

-box that cannot harm Announcer-san because it has no special ability other than making deliveries.

Dot. Dot. Dot.

The master raised an eyebrow before shrugging it off as Mailbox-san twitched irritably and grumbled to itself with a dark cloud hanging over it. Her red eye trailed over the simple box before she placed it in front of her and asked, "So who's it from?"

Mailbox-san shook in a vague resemblance of a shrug, "Dunno, boss. But, I think it's-"

**BOOOBOOOBOOOM~!**

"-from that doggy…"

Sweat poured down the animate object upon seeing a field of fire crackle in front of it. Wisps of black and white smoke floated across the seemingly empty space as the odor of dynamites lingered in the air. Two mutilated figures laid on the rocky ground before one twitched and raised to reveal 74-sama looking very much like a burnt zombie.

"Che. I'm healing slower than usual."

The master snorted a bit before tearing away her burning eyepatch and opening her left eye, revealing a purple iris with a black heartagram as its pupil. It glowed dimly before flesh began to regenerate at a steady pace.

To avoid making the audience's guts churn with extreme disgust, the ever-considerate Announcer-san will not be commenting any further on the appearances of the master and her foxy partner. Instead, Announcer-san will distract the you by describing one event when 74-sama was reading _Dear 59-kun_! (Ahem…)

_It was a beautifully cloudy day with absolutely no sign of the typically bright sun when 74-sama was on her beautifully new MacBook. Her expression appeared apathetic before a faint twitch appeared on her lips. Suddenly…_

_"KEKEKEKEKEKE~!"_

_She rolled around on the floor in breathless laughter, nearing the open gates as time passed, before-_

_THUD!_

_-rolling off the flight of stairs just outside and landing at the bottom, twitching sporadically. Why the door was open is something that no one will know… probably. Anyway! A cough from 74-sama as her red blood poured down her face._

_"OKAY! I'm good!" She chirped while sitting up, speaking to no one in particular, "Split my head open, but nothing I can't take~!"_

_That said, 74-sama ran a hand over her injury, making white fire dance across its edges before the wound sealed in a matter of minutes. Her canines flashed in a cheeky grin as she stood up and sashayed back up the stairs, ignoring the puddle of blood left behind that should've been cleaned up, but isn't because she can be lazy-_

**BWOOSH!**

A fireball slammed into Announcer-san, forcing him to return to the matters at hand. A quick glance at the green apple-shaped alarm clock near 74-sama's bed reveals that several hours had passed while you were distracted.

The master rolled her eye briefly before jerking a thumb over to her partner, "Go-chan's alright now, by the way."

The foxy being yipped, looking almost like how he did before being bombed. Now, the word "almost" is used for the kit no longer had one tail, but two! And, seeing as how some may be confused, 74-sama explains briefly, "I transferred some of my energy into Go-chan. Now he's a fox spirit and not a normal kit."

And, now, it's time to move along with this crack!

The master plopped onto her hovering chair and checked her inbox to see a reply to her previous message, stating:

_Dear Fuck Your Latin,_

_"Never"? Huh. Well, you might want to check your front door, because I left you a present, moron. I hope you like dead dogs with bombs inside of them. (How's that for devilish, asshat?)_

_I hope you like Indian giving, because whoops, there's your present back._

"Kekekeke~!" Came the low cackle as 74-sama's aura crackled dangerously. Licking her canines briefly, she cracked her knuckles and popped her shoulders before typing another message to the bomber that was as followed:

_Dear Inu-dera,_

_How cruel~! My Go-chan was innocent~! Couldn't you have sent me a dead pineapple- or a marshmallow-bomb instead? Honestly! But, that was quite a gift. Now, I have an undead fox~! It took us a few hours to recover when, typically, it would be instantaneous~! Quite interesting, I say. Did you add some sort of secret ingredient, say... powdered milk?_

_Sincerely (Curious),  
__Silver74_

Stretching out her sore muscles, 74-sama sang, "He's as temperamental as always~!"

Re-reading her sent message, the master wrinkling her nose a bit and stuck out her tongue childishly, "Bleh."

Leaning back into her comfortable seat, she turned and pouted with crossed arms, "I don't like milk. At all."

By her feet, the fox spirit yipped in agreement.

A sigh from 74-sama before grinned tiredly and waved, "Maa, I'm still exhausted from healing, so I'll see you guys another time!"

Suddenly a thought occurred before she smirked.

"Oh! And, if you think this isn't crack yet, just wait. I'll be getting there."

Her red eye glinted.

"Sooner or later."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Kekekeke~! xD

So far, this is following most of my reviews! I cut out some things that weren't as interesting though. *shrugs*

And now for some advice from your gracious (but devilish) host:

If you haven't read **mangarox14's _Dear 59-kun_...**

**GO READ IT! YA HA~!**

*bazooka's randomness into the air* x3


	3. Crack 03: Of UMAs and Oldies

Date Released: Sunday, October 03, 2010  
Title: The Hilarity of 74  
Author: Gin Nanashi  
Creation Type: FanFiction, "Crack"  
Main Rating: M  
Disclaimer: Gin Nanashi © Gin Nanashi; _Dear 59-kun_ © mangarox14; _Katekyou Hitman REBORN!_ © Amano Akira  
Summary: What happens when you throw a devilish soul into the craziness known as KHR? Simple. Pure, pure crack.

**

* * *

The Hilarity of 74**

_Crack 03: Of UMAs and Oldies_

* * *

Entering the humble abode of 74-sama, the audience sees two new additions to the room - a tank filled with cockroaches near _The_ (finally repaired) _Gates of Hell_ and a fenced off section of confused and disappointed people.

A funky music played in the devilish soul's Hell, echoing throughout its large space. The master hummed along with the instrumentals as she stepped to the beat. With her lips curled up in a grin, 74-sama sang off-key.

"I see dancing swords~!"

A roach imploded; the people to jump in shock.

"I see yodeling whips~!"

Another exploded; they paled in horror.

"I see Shitt P. in a bouncing car~!"

And the rest combusted; cue the screeching of the prisoners.

As the music faded, 74-sama gave a fanged grin and bowed dramatically, ignoring the panicking beings who shouted, "SAVE ME~!"

Her lips quirked a smirk as 74-sama purred, "And that's my introduction to this episode of _The Hilarity of 74_! Did you all enjoy it?"

Of course, the readers cannot respond since Announcer-san knows not of how you reacted to this beginning.

The master's red eye rolled upwards briefly before a light "Ding~!" sounded from her laptop, drawing her attention to it. A kittenish smile curved onto her lips as she pranced towards it, singing, "Looks like I got a new message~!"

Plopping onto her hovering seat, 74-sama spun in one revolution before slowing to a stop directly in front of the glowing screen. Clicking on the mouse pad, she opened up her new message and, to her delight, found that a certain bomber responded:

_Dear Innocent My Ass,_

_Well, you were bothering the Tenth. You deserved it (and so much more, but hey, that's how it goes)._

_Powdered…what the fuck. I make my dynamites with TNT, like everyone else._

The master clicked her tongue before shaking her head in disappointment, "Poor, naive Hayato."

At the name, the prisoners stopped panicking and looked towards the devilish soul with expectant sparkles in their eyes, "It's Gokudera-sama?"

But, 74-sama ignored the desperate cries and drawled, "Not knowing that even powdered milk can turn into a dust explosion."

At this, 74-sama heaved an exaggerated sigh as the detainees struggled against the bars, shouting nonsense, but they're once again ignored. Instead, 74-sama winked with a grin and proclaimed, "It's true! Powdered milk can explode!"

A trickle of sweat ran down her face as she looked away and rubbed at her neck sheepishly, "Well, it's true unless the internet forum lied to me…"

"You don't even know…?" The captives deadpanned but it went unnoticed.

"SO!" The master declared with a point of her finger, "Check out this site and tell me what you think about combustible milk! It's: http :/ www. frihost. com/forums/vt-41069. html but remember to take out the spaces before pressing the enter-button!"

THUD!

The prisoners fell over at the advertisement but 74-sama simply breathed deeply before exhaling slowly. She then stretched and jumped out of her chair with a grin, "Moving along~!"

She wriggled around with her hands on her cheeks, "It looks like there are even more UMAs now~!"

Getting up, the detainees perked up and whispered excitedly among themselves, "Gokudera-sama would be happy to hear that!"

Colorful hearts floated around her as 74-sama paid no heed to the guests and gave a kittenish grin and a big thumbs-up instead, "And, I encourage the coming of more~! After all-!"

Her canines shined in the lava's light, causing the people to shiver, "The more weirdos there are, the more crack everything become~! Kekeke~!"

She cackled briefly before dropping onto her seat again, "Anyway~!"

The master waved her hand around, making a slit of hammer-space appear in the air before it closed after something purple dropped out of it.

"I have a special something that I want to share with you guys." A kittenish grin appeared on her lips as 74-sama presented the goo and snickered, "This here is SLIME~!"

A soft sizzling sound is heard while smoke emitted from the violet thing as 74-sama continued to speak happily, "This (here) SLIME is an acronym for Spoiling Limbs In Minutes Effect! And, as you can see, my fingers are slowly burning off in its acidity~!"

THUMP!

Several of the prisoners foamed at the mouth and twitched as the others looked pale and wary, backing away as much as possible while 74-sama wiggled her brows, "Isn't it awesome?"

Dot. Dot. Dot.

"Fine then." She coughed and flung the remains into the lava river, revealing her… lack of limbs.

A sheepish grin flickered over her lips as she laughed, "Whoops~! Gotta be careful~!"

White flames bursted forth from the missing limbs before fading away to reveal the regenerated fingers as 74-sama cackled, "Kekeke~! SO! Have you all heard yet?"

Her red eye glowed in excitement as she leaned forward and whispered as if it were a secret, "Inu-dera finally became the old man he is~! (In the interlude, anyway.)"

"TAKE THAT BACK!" Came the unanimous shout from the group as they finally bared their rabid selves, "GOKUDERA-SAMA IS NOT OLD!"

"HA!" Came the barking laugh before 74-sama chuckled mischievously, "Is that so…?"

Her red eye glinted dangerously towards her prisoners, "Gesuto-san tachi?"

They were undeterred by the hidden threat and ranted, "Gokudera-sama is so hot and sexy with his dynamites and he can totally own-!"

"KEKEKE~!" The master cackled loudly, drowning out their rave, as flames bursted forth from her hands, "It appears that it's time for them to leave~!"

None of the rabid fans noticed as they continued to complain, "Besides, even if he is old, he'll still be cute 'cause he'll be together with-!"

Announcer-san has decided to spare some weak-stomachs in the crowd from reading some explicitly violet scenes and apologizes to those who wanted them. Announcer-san will, however, describe the situation as looking very much like the ever-referred-to Apocalypse of Rabid Fans as 74-sama sang, "I can hear the rabid fans dying from shock~!"

And so, Announcer-san leaves the rest up to the audience's imagination as 74-sama cackled, "Oh, wait. That was my burning them. My bad~!"

She was smiling (not) innocently as white fire burned in the fenced off area before bowing gracefully, "Any who~! Here's a little parting gift from me to you, my fellow rabid-fan-haters~!"

The area bursted in an array of beautiful fireworks in the distinct shapes of a fish, a dynamite, a baseball bat, a cow, a boxing glove, a pair of tonfa and a trident.

"Kekekeke~!" Came the chuckle as 74-sama's Hell began to dim, "Until next time then~! Adios, amigos~!"

A fanged grin was the last image.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

*yawn* ... *twitch* ... *groans* ... So... tired... *slumps over* x|

I really should've slept some more, but I really wanted to get a chapter up... *yawns again*

*rubs eye* Meh, when I remember what I wanted to say here, I'll come back... maybe. *conks out*


	4. Crack 04: Fuming Gifts

Date Released: Friday, October 07, 2010  
Title: The Hilarity of 74  
Author: Gin Nanashi  
Creation Type: FanFiction, "Crack"  
Main Rating: M  
Disclaimer: Gin Nanashi © Gin Nanashi; _Dear 59-kun_ © mangarox14; _Katekyou Hitman REBORN!_ © Amano Akira  
Summary: What happens when you throw a devilish soul into the craziness known as KHR? Simple. Pure, pure crack.

**

* * *

The Hilarity of 74**

_Crack 04: Fuming Gifts_

* * *

"Kekekeke~!"

The familiar cackle rang out through the dark room before flames bursted forth and lit up the area. The master lounged on her hovering chair with her right leg propped up and her arm resting on that knee. A playful smirk danced across her lips as she twirled around a silver fork.

"Welcome to the fourth installation of _The Hilarity of 74_! (Although, I'm thinking of changing it to _The Insanity of 74_ now. Kekeke~!)"

Suddenly, she shoved her utensil into a piece of (what appeared to be)… cake? Well, that was one way of putting it. The large dessert was dark-purple with light-purple frosting; funny bug-eyed worm-like things protruded from it while a realistically-looking white skull sat proudly on top of it. The master's lips curved up in a kittenish grin as she chomped on a piece.

Suddenly, the typically dim-lighted background lit up with sparkling bubbles and twirling flowers as 74-sama pressed a hand against her cheek and wriggled around in her seat happily, "Mm~! Bianchi-nee's cooking is as superb as always~!"

Hearts floated around 74-sama before she smacked her lips as a thought occurred, "Oh yeah! I-!"

**BUUU~UURP!**

Violet fumes left the master's lips as she blinked before sighing and patting her stomach with a light grin, "Ah~! That was some good grub!"

A light blush dusted her cheeks as she laughed sheepishly, "Oops! I should've said excuse me, na?"

She tapped a forefinger to her lips before shrugging, "Meh! Oh well!"

Her right eye sparkled as she leaned back and looked at her laptop, pouting, "You know what?"

Ignoring the fact that no one can really answer, she continued, "Inu-dera really should appreciate his sister's cooking more!"

The screen glowed with the following message:

_Dear Hayato,_

_I baked you cake to celebrate you finally confessing. Come over and we can share it with Reborn~ Do you think I should feed it to him? And hurry up, the kids are getting restless and want to eat it._

_P.s: Stop being mean to people who just want advice, Or I'll personally go over there and stuff the cake in your face._

_~Your Loving Sister_

And, in response to that was a certain bomber's ever-rude reply:

_Dear How In The Hell Did You Even…,_

_How did you find this, actually? …Never mind, Reborn-san told you. As for my confessing—does he know all of my business? IS NOTHING SACRED?_

_As for your cake…how about a big fat damn no. I have no interest in, you know, dying, before I get an answer._

The master puffed out her lips in a very Reborn-manner and sulked, "Bianchi-nee always cooks for him while I have to wait since the only way I can eat it is if I get out of this hellhole."

She stuck out her tongue, "Bleh. Stupid portal's not working for me…"

To avoid making the audience's ears bleed, Announcer-san will simply recite the following:

(Ahem.)

**An hour long rant and a hundred exaggerated sighs later…**

The master finally declared, "Thus, Hayato really should learn to appreciate Bianchi-nee's cooking!"

She cradled her chin as a dim lightbulb floated above her head and thought for a moment, mumbling, "But, how…?"

Suddenly, the floating object combusted as 74-sama snapped her fingers, creating a spark of fire as she exclaimed, "THAT'S IT!"

Bangs shadowed her eyes as she chuckled darkly, "Kekekeke~! The best way to get someone to appreciate something is to shove it down his throat~!"

The master suddenly tensed before coughing and giving a brilliantly (not) innocent smile, "Of course, I actually mean: GIFT-WRAP IT AND PRESENT IT TO THE RECEIVER~!"

Black hearts danced around 74-sama as she attempted innocence, but failed epically when she began cackling lowly before cutting herself off, "Anyway…"

She placed the rest of her cake into a prettified box and sealed it shut before rapidly wrapping it in bright red paper.

"As I distract you from my actions with my (awesome) CAPS LOCK SPEECH…"

She trailed off and finished tying the box with a ridiculous pink polka-dotted yellow bow before grinning widely and taking a deep breath.

"I'LL TAKE THE TIME NOW TO TALK A BIT ABOUT MYSELF!"

She scribbled quickly on a simple black tag in silver ink while speaking.

"I TYPICALLY DON'T APPEAR TO BE THIS SADISTIC AND CRAZY SO FEEL SPECIAL THAT YOU SEE THIS PART OF ME!"

She stuck the tag onto the gift box and grinned maliciously, whistling a high pitch, before continuing.

"I TOOK THE SEME-UKE QUIZ AND FOUND OUT THAT I'M A CHIBI SEME, SO YA HA~! I TOP!"

A young man stumbled in, shaking at being in the presence of the master before perking up when given the parcel, only to pale upon looking at the tag.

"ONE OF THESE DAYS, I'LL FIND MY UKE BUT RIGHT NOW I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THAT RELATION-SHIT!"

A flash of 74-sama's fanged grin made him clamp his jaws together and suck it up before running off to do his thing.

"MOVING ALONG~!"

The master breathed deeply before exhaling and relaxing. Her lips quirked up in a light grin as she jerked a thumb towards _The_ (ajar) _Gates of Hell_, "If you _weren't_ distracted by my (awesome) CAPS LOCK SPEECH, then you probably noticed the man who came and left, yeah?"

She snuggled into the softness of her hovering chair and smirked, "That was one of my… _assistants_, Postman-san."

Her fingers tapped against each other as she rested her elbows on her thighs and explained, "Postman-san is the one I send when I want to get… personal."

**BOOOBOOOBOOOM~!**

The master's Hell shook violently as she cackled lightly, "Kekeke~! Don't concern yourself with that. It happens every now and then."

Her canines glinted dangerously in the dim light of the lava river as a low chuckle came format 74-sama, "After all, what's Hell…!"

From the ajar gates, a red soul floated into the room while sobbing and holding a slightly scorched piece of paper. The master grinned widely, showing off her sharp teeth before continuing on with her awesome speech.

"AFTER ALL, WHAT'S HELL WITHOUT A LITTLE BIT OF CHAOS?"

The soul handed her the blackened paper before floating off, still whimpering.

"I KNOW! I'M TERRIBLE, AREN'T I?"

The background turned bright as hearts danced and bubbles sparkled around her.

"BUT, IT COMES WITH BEING DEVILISH, YOU KNOW~!"

Her red eyes flickered across the messy scrawl on the paper before she cackled maliciously.

"KEKEKEKE~! HIS REACTIONS ARE QUITE PREDICTABLE~!"

A spark came from her finger, lighting the corner of the note on fire, before 74-sama tossed it in the general direction of the soul. As the note flittered towards the unsuspecting being, the words "FUCK YOU!" could be easily distinguished despite the horrible handwriting. The master laughed and clapped her hands together, singing happily.

"Looks like he got my gift~!"

She began chuckling lowly as the note slowly burned to ashes on the panicking soul of Postman-san. Poor guy… He really doesn't need all this abuse-

**BONK!**

A car tire slammed into Announcer-san, making him whimper, before he and Postman-san huddled together, sniffling over the cruelty of the master. She simply gave a fanged grin and flashed a victory sign.

"I'm so CRUEL that I LOVE it~! KEKEKEKE~!"

Her eye flashed briefly as she cocks a bazooka.

"DON'T THINK THAT I'M ONE-DIMENSIONAL THOUGH!"

Pulling a trigger-

**BOOM!**

-rainbow smoke came blasting out.

"YA HA~! GET YOUR COOKIES!"

In a lower voice, she added.

"And join my insanity. (Kekeke~!)"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Uh... No comment except that it's full of random crap-I mean-crack? *brilliantly (not) innocent smile*


	5. Crack 05: As They Say

Date Released: Tuesday, October 12, 2010  
Title: The Hilarity of 74  
Author: Gin Nanashi  
Creation Type: FanFiction, "Crack"  
Main Rating: M  
Disclaimer: Gin Nanashi © Gin Nanashi; _Dear 59-kun_ © mangarox14; _Katekyou Hitman REBORN!_ © Amano Akira  
Summary: What happens when you throw a devilish soul into the craziness known as KHR? Simple. Pure, pure crack.

**

* * *

The Hilarity of 74**

_Crack 05: As They Say..._

* * *

"YA HA~!"

**BOOM!**

Missiles exploded in the seemingly never-ending ceiling of 74-sama's Hell as she cackled victoriously.

"I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT HAYATO'S BIRTHDAY~!"

Resting the launcher on her right shoulder, 74-sama pumped her left fist before her eye glinted at the sight of an avian flying overhead. It was a duck.

A vein irked on 74-sama's temple before she whipped out a Mark XIX Desert Eagle in .357 Magnum with her left hand.

**BAM!**

The avian fell as 74-sama smirked and blew the lingering gun-smoke away, "Damned duck."

She then coughed before bowing widely with a grin, "So sorry for the late introduction and welcome to number five in this series of crack known as _The Hilarity of 74_!"

"Yeah, I decided that I'm too lazy to change the title." The master shrugged and placed her firearms back into her hammer-space before cackling, "And, yes! I. Am. PROUD!"

She licked the tip of her canines and smiled dangerously, "Proud of my awesome skills of forgetting, that is~!"

And, in a lower voice, added, "As well as disintegrating that SasUKE-clone~! (Kekekeke~!)"

Coughing again, 74-sama cleared her throat, "I may be coming down with something."

Her eye flashed playfully, "Something like…"

She twirled around before flopping onto her hovering seat and declaring dramatically.

"FANFICTION FEVER~!"

She spun her chair around and faced her open laptop with a gleeful cackle, chanting, "GO MANGAROX14~! GO VIEWERS~! GO UMA'S~! GO UFO'S~! GO ALL OTHER THINGS I'M TOO LAZY TO NAME~!"

She tapped her fingers together in a Mr. Burns-manner and whispered, "But, especially…"

**KATATATATATATATATAK~!**

"GO MEEEEEEEEE~!" She sang while firing off her AK-47, "KEKEKE~!"

After several moments of wasting rounds of bullets and laughing maniacal laughs…

The master placed her firearm away again and grin kittenishly, "Anyway~!"

_The Gates of Hell_ opened as Postman-san poked his head in and blinked, "Did you want to see me, 74-sama?"

A devilish grin crept onto her lips as 74-sama turned and cackled, "Why, yes, dearest Postman-san~!"

The poor guy paled at the sadistic-

**WHAM!**

An anvil slammed into Announcer-san as he tries to refrain from making anymore comments that will end in his misery. All the while, Announcer-san will have to empathize with Postman-san from afar. Announcer-san apologizes, Postman-san, but he doesn't want to die~!

"Kekeke~!" The master snickered before conjuring up flames in her hands, "Run."

With wide eyes, Postman-san scrambled to safety as fireballs barely missed him.

Now, the audience may be wondering why 74-sama is doing such a thing when Postman-san has always served her so faithfully. The reason is simply that her mind was infused with the… great… advice from the author of _Dear 59-kun_ to burn the seat of her victim's pants-

"IYADA~!" Came the terrified cry from Postman-san as his bottom lit up in white flames.

-and observe their reactions-

"WHY, 74-SAMA? WHY?" The poor guy cried before tripping over one of the many cracks of lava in the room and tumbling into the lava river.

-which was NOT supposed to be what just happened there.

The master pouted and crossed her arms, "Mou~! You were supposed to scream, 'HUH, I FEEL A DISTINCT BREEZE IN MY LOWER QUARTERS!' like mangarox14 said!"

Postman-san cried waterfalls before sinking deeper into the lava river… NO, POSTMAN-SAN! GET OUT-!

**BOOOBOOOBOOOM~!**

… Too late.

Announcer-san sighs and mourns briefly at the other assistant's pain. Postman-san shouldn't have relaxed in the lava river. After all, that made him distinctly resemble a certain character from KHR who continuously used the word "idgit" until his death at the hands of the naked marshmallow-clone. And so, Postman-san got blown up by several C-40 bombs. Thus, his body is once again burned into ashes as Postman-san's soul floated out of the lava river, crying, "I need a new master~!"

Announcer-san smacks his forehead and drags it over his eyes at the other's mistake.

"What. Was. That…?" Came the low question from 74-sama as her aura crackled with sadistic intent. The soul paled at the sight of her holding a glass bottle in hand that contained a glowing ball of blue light. Postman-san shook and quivered and whimpered, "N-Not he-er~!"

"KEKEKEKE~!" The master cackled maliciously as she swiped the soul into the container, trapping Postman-san as the glowing being flitted around him and continuously shouted, "HEY! LISTEN!"

Poor, poor soul. To be trapped with the most annoying fairy in all of gaming history… And, Announcer-san will now be moving along since the master is currently polishing her favorite gun of all times. So~!

The master smirked and turned to her laptop once more, showing the article of the day from the advice column!

_Dear 59-kun._

_What will you do if I were to take the stupid cow away?_

_:3._

Following it was the bomber's answer:

_Dear DOITDOITDOIT,_

_I would, ahem, casually enjoy evenings at the Tenth's house._

_…Unless you were being serious. Then I'd have to kill you._

"Le gasp~!" The master mocked before snickering, "Can it be that Inu-dera actually admitted that he cared for the little lamb (who looks like a cow) in a very roundabout way? I do believe so~!"

She flashed a wide grin, showing off her sharp canines, "Kekeke~! I believe this calls for some actual teasing, yeah? And especially since my portal's fixed~!"

White flames obscured the area and crackled for a moment before disappearing as 74-sama sat on top of a stone wall of a school that should be familiar to all KHR-fans.

"That's right, Announcer-san~!" The master snickered before jumping down and landing safely on her feet, "We are here at Namimori Chuugakou or, simply, Namichuu~!"

"What are you all doing here?" A voice called out lowly as the signature piano music played in the background - HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? (There's no pianist nearby...) - causing a chill to run up the spine of everyone present.

Even 74-sama couldn't help but sweat lightly at the presence of none other than Namichuu's Fuuki Iinchou - Kyouya Hibari.

The master coughed lightly before smiling (not) innocently, "Hey there, Kyou-!"

She couldn't finish as she was forced to duck to avoid the incoming tonfa to her head. A twitching smile played on her lips as she laughed nervously, "Now-!"

She jumped and landed on the stone wall as the metal weapon slammed into the ground, cracking it. Grey eyes flickered over to the devilish soul before narrowing. Kyouya straightened up before brandishing his weapons and saying his all-time-favorite:

"Kamikorosu."

The master's eye twitched a bit as she grumbled out, "Cue the several thousands of fangirls who just fainted from nosebleeds-!"

A tonfa embedded into the stone wall as 74-sama was safe in a crouch on the sidewalk, but she couldn't relax as Kyouya came running at her again. Their movements became a blur of attacks and evasive maneuvers before-

"HIBARI-SAN?"

-a familiar voice rang through the school's courtyard, causing the battle to pause.

Kyouya glanced over at the light brunette who appeared with two others as 74-sama gave a kittenish grin and wriggled around, "Tsuna-Fish~!"

Her greeting went unnoticed as the Namimori Disciplinary Committee Head (What a mouthful!) raised his tonfa and glared, "Herbivore."

"H-HIIIIIIIII~!" Tsuna cried out as he backed away quickly, arms raised to shield himself, "PLEASE DON'T BITE ME TO DEATH~!"

"Don't worry, Tenth!" The octopus-haired bomber shouted, stepping forward with dynamites raised, "I'll protect you!"

"Ahahaha~!" The other boy laughed with a carefree smile, "How interesting! Are we playing a new game?"

"Y-Yamamoto!" Tsuna panicked while shaking his head vigorously, "This isn't-!"

"OF COURSE~!" The once-silent master chirped as she tackled the light brunette into a hug, "It's called the 'Who can make Inu-dera explode first?' game~!"

A vein irked on the silverette before-

**Pish!**

-all six dynamites lit up simultaneously in between his fingers.

"You…" He started with his face shadowed as light-brown eyes widened in fear, "GET AWAY FROM THE TENTH!"

"NO! GOKU-!"

**BOOOOM~!**

Two blurs jumped out of the area when dust was whipped up by the mighty blast of the dynamites as the courtyard became obscured. One blur landed on the sidewalk and was revealed to be a frowning Kyouya. (Not that he ever really smiles…) The other was 74-sama who landed on the nearby roof of Namichuu.

As the smoke began to clear, the three friends were revealed to be ruffled but not harmed.

"T-Tenth! Are you okay?" Hayato coughed out while waving away the rest of the dust.

"S-Somehow…" Tsuna sighed before falling onto his bottom, exhausted.

Takeshi laughed a bit and scratched his cheek, "I didn't know there were fireworks going on today!"

"Y-Yamamoto," Came the exasperated sigh from the light brunette as a sweat ran down his head, "Those weren't fireworks-!"

"I'M SO SORRY!" Hayato shouted, slamming his forehead against the ground, "I ENDANGERED YOU-!" **Smack.** "-TENTH! I'M-" **Twack.** "-A FAILURE AT-" **Thump.** "-BEING YOUR RIGHT HAND MAN!" **Thud!**

"S-Stop that, Gokudera-kun!" Tsuna panicked as blood began to trickle down his forehead, "You're hurting yourself!"

Tears sparkled in green eyes as Hayato looked up at the mafia boss.

"You still care about me?"

Light-brown eyes widened.

"Of course, I care about you!"

Heat creeped up on the silverette.

"Even as far as love…?"

The light brunette flushed red.

"Yes-!"

**BOOM!**

"KEKEKEKE~!" Came the cackle from 74-sama as she landed in the courtyard with a fanged grin and a machine that resembled a loudspeaker in hand.

"You…!" Hayato snarled with the look of utter rage, "FUCK OFF!"

The master jumped away as another dynamite exploded in her previous place and held the device to her lips and pouted, "But, Hayato~!"

Her voice had been modified to sound like a certain glompable uke as both boys flushed red at the delectable sound. It was unknown as to whether or not it was from anger-

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

Scratch that.

That was the sound of pure bloodlust as the silverette rushed towards the devilish soul only to skid to a stop when faced with a pair of tonfa.

"Tch!" Hayato scowled as he whipped out some more explosives, "Get out of my way!"

His bangs shadowed his eyes as Kyouya murmured lowly, voice full of killing intent, "You…"

It was like a blizzard descended as sharp grey eyes glinted steely before the Cloud Guardian continued, "How dare you disrupt the peace of Namimori?"

A vein irked on the silverette as the bombs hissed, beginning their countdown, before snapping, "Who fucking cares about Nami-?"

**TWACK!**

Light glinted off of the tonfa as Hayato flew backwards and-

**THUD!**

-slammed into the ground, skidding behind Tsuna and Takeshi.

"GOKUDERA-KUN!" The light brunette shouted as he knelt besides the injured boy.

**Shing.**

The sound of metal being drawn directed Tsuna's attention to the baseball-fan as Takeshi faced Kyouya, the Shigure Kintoki drawn and ready as his eyes steeled dangerously.

"Y-Yamamoto…?" Vongola Decimo couldn't help but question before paling when Kyouya simply raised his weapons and glared back.

They tensed and were about to charge when-

"Kekekeke~!"

-the master's laughter cut them off.

All four pairs of eyes looked up to see 74-sama back on the roof with a video recorder in hand. Her lips were twisted into a fanged grin as her red eye danced in gleeful mirth, "I'm gonna be RICH!"

Dot. Dot. Dot.

Silence reigned before a dark cloud descended over the group of boys.

"You…" The silverette started as he sat up with the help of his boss, "You sound like that bitch, Silver74!"

Her canines flashed.

His silent question was answered.

Eyes widened in horror.

_All else was history._

* * *

**Author's Note:**

*cough* I'll be going on a small break to recuperate since all of my college assignments have gotten me annoyed with writing and... yeah... *trails off into silence*

*bows and smashes head on floor* I'M SO SORRY, MANGAROX14! *lifts to reveal bloody mess* I SWEAR THAT I HAVEN'T GIVEN THIS UP THOUGH! D'X


	6. Crack 06: Damned Duck

Date Released: Monday, October 25, 2010  
Title: The Hilarity of 74  
Author: Gin Nanashi  
Creation Type: FanFiction, "Crack"  
Main Rating: M  
Disclaimer: Gin Nanashi © Gin Nanashi; _Dear 59-kun_ © mangarox14; _Katekyou Hitman REBORN!_ © Amano Akira  
Summary: What happens when you throw a devilish soul into the craziness known as KHR? Simple. Pure, pure crack.

**

* * *

The Hilarity of 74**

_Crack 06: Damned Duck_

**

* * *

BOOOOOM~!**

The explosion rang through the courtyard of Namimori Chuugakou as it was obscured by the storm of dust particles that were kicked up by the exploded dynamite before-

"KEKEKE~!"

-a maniacal cackle rang throughout the area.

Bursting from the cloud of dust, 74-sama was holding onto her nifty video recorder as her sharp canines flashed in a smirk.

"Is that the best you can do? _Inu_-dera?" She mocked as a shadow flickered in the obtrusion.

Several dynamites were flung into the air and lit before-

**Hiss!**

-they suddenly changed directions!

The master raised a curious brow and nonchalantly jumped away as-

**Hiss!**

-the explosives changed directions yet again before-

**BOBOBOBOBOBOOM~!**

-the area was shrouded once more.

The silverette breathed heavily as a vein irked and shook a fist, shouting, "TAKE THAT, BITCH! WHO'S THE DOG NOW?"

No response came from the direction of the blasts.

A victorious smirk adorned his lips before he turned and face the light brunette of the group. Suddenly, his personality did a complete 180 turn. A bright smile alit his typically scowling face as glittering sparkles shined around him. Gray dog ears perked metaphorically.

"TENTH~!" He squealed manly with adoring olive-green eyes and a rapidly wagging dog tail as if waiting for a rewarding treat.

But his treat would have to wait.

"G-Gokudera-kun…!" The young boss whimpered, shaking fearfully, "W-What are we go-ing to do-o?"

Hayato blinked, looking thoroughly confused, "What's wrong, Tenth?"

Tsuna's knees buckled, earning him two worried cries, as he stuttered, "W-We just k-killed…!"

He couldn't finish as he gripping his trembling shoulders tightly in an attempt to calm down.

Takeshi frowned as the silverette scowled, "If they try to pin this on the Tenth, then I'll-!"

"STOP!" The light brunette shouted, eyes clenched shut as tears clung to them, "No more!"

"T-Tenth…?" The bomber whispered, confused and hurt, as Takeshi whispered worriedly, "Tsuna…"

Said boy whimpered as he clutched his head, sniffling, "Just… stop…"

Tears ran freely as he whispered painfully, "No more deaths…"

Two pairs of eyes widened before dulling in guilt.

A heavy silence dwelled upon them for a tense moment.

The taller ones opened their mouths to respond when-

"Kekekeke~!"

-a familiar cackle rang out.

Light-brown eyes snapped open, tears abruptly stopping, as all eyes turned to the stone wall of Namichuu.

"Well said, Tsuna-Fish~!" The master purred with a fanged grin, "But, don't forget."

Her sharp canines clicked together as she cackled, "You're a _mafia_ boss now~!"

Jaws dropped before Hayato sputtered, "HOW THE HELL DID YOU SURVIVE?"

"KEKEKE~!" Came the loud laugh before 74-sama licked her canines and mocked, "Ba~aka! I'm _obviously_ not normal!"

A dark cloud descended around Tsuna and Hayato before Takeshi laughed, "So that's why~!"

The former two fell over before shouting, "DON'T BE DUPED SO EASILY!"

"Kekeke~! Who said I was joking?" The master grinned from her perch before-

**Swish!**

-easily dodging a tonfa to the head by tilting off of her perch.

Her red eye glittered in amusement as grey eyes narrowed dangerously.

The (previously ignored) Cloud Guardian charged again, swiping at 74-sama.

His movements were a blur as were hers before-

**Clink.**

-metal hit metal as his tonfa slammed into her pistol.

"HIIIII?" Came the loud scream as Tsuna startled, "HOW DID SHE GET A GUN?"

"KEKEKE~!" Came the devilish laughter, "Didn't I already say that I was abnormal?"

A vein irked on Kyouya's temple as he swung his other tonfa, only to have it hit 74-sama's second pistol.

Now, they were in a deadlock as 74-sama grinned maliciously before opening her mouth to speak.

**QUACK~!**

Dot. Dot. Dot.

A dark aura steamed from 74-sama as everyone gave her a weirded out look.

She twitched as her bangs shadowed her face before her red eye gleamed dangerously.

"Who…" She started as a vein throbbed on her temple, "… interrupted me-?"

**QUACK~!**

Came the annoying call as everyone turned to look upwards into the sky.

A single black duck with a leaf-engraved headband sat on the rooftop of Namichuu.

Dot. Dot. Dot.

Another awkward silence as 74-sama's killer intent became so dangerously high that even Kyouya had to flinch-

**BONK!**

A tonfa slammed into Announcer-san's head which is extremely odd considering that Announcer-san has no real body. (Didn't Announcer-san say this before…?) But, since Kyouya's weird like that-

**CONK!**

Moving along as Announcer-san nurses his tonfa-induced wounds...

**CLICK!**

A loud gun cock from 74-sama's Mark XIX Desert Eagles in .357 Magnum caught everyone's attention as she stood by, weapons raised.

"Kekekeke~!" Came the dark chuckle and fanged grin as a single red eye gleamed sadistically, "Die."

**BABABABABABABABABA-BABABABABABABABABAM!**

**THUD! THUMP! BANG! SLAM! GONG! CLANG!**

"KEKEKEKE~!"

Dot. Dot. Dot.

Wide eyes stared at the scene in front of them in fear (though one was _very_ well-concealed).

"Let's see…" The master mused as she placed her weapons away and looked over the mini-graveyard of destroyed things.

The collection consisted of the following: an RC aircraft, an ever-smiling purple dinosaur, a round metal thing with "SP**N*K" faded on it, a model rocket, a copper-colored instrument and a halo.

Dot. Dot. D-

"THE FUCK?" Came the enraged roar from 74-sama, "I HIT EVERYTHING BUT THE DUCK?"

**QUACK~!**

Dot. Dot. Dot.

Rage made itself evident on 74-sama's face as she snarled before taking off towards the avian, "DIE, FUCKING SASU-!"

**THUMP!**

The master twitched on the floor as a shadow hovered over her.

A bump grew on her head as a stream of blood flowed down before 74-sama pushed herself up and blinked in surprise.

Her eye flickered upwards before she froze with sweat trickling down.

"Ehehehe?" Came her nervous laugh, "Hi…?"

Metal glinted off the tonfa as Kyouya glared down at 74-sama with a dark aura crackling around his body, "Where do you think you're going?"

The other boys smartly snuck away and the master's lips twitched as she held up her hands defensively, "To kill that duck's butt...?"

**WHAM!**

The tonfa slammed into 74-sama's head again.

"Kamikorosu."

* * *

_Several moments of squealing rabid fans dying from massive nosebleeds and a multitude of painful tonfa whacks to a certain devilish soul's head later…_

* * *

Back in 74-sama's wonderful Hell, a mummy-

**WHAM!**

An anvil slammed into Announcer-san as a vein irked on the bandaged one.

She pulled down the bands covering her mouth and snapped irritably, "_Who_'s the mummy?"

No one! Definitely not 74-sama! Nope. Nuh uh. A most sure "no".

And, of course, there's no real mummy around here unless they suddenly decided to visit the slothful mast-

**BONK!**

A hammer decided to make friends with Announcer-san's face before 74-sama decided that it was time to move on.

She sighed and plopped back onto her soft bed, giving a slow wave.

"Sorry, guys." The master grinned sheepishly, "The sixth episode didn't exactly go the way I wanted..."

A dark aura hovered over 74-sama again.

"Especially since that fucking bird appeared."

Killer intent began to brew.

"One of these days..."

White flames crackled dangerously around her.

"I'll get him."

Her red eye glinted sadistically.

"I swear it."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Um... Yeah. I finally updated. *nervous laugh* But I feel like this is lacking somehow... *sweat*


	7. Crack 07: Immortal Soul

Date Released: Thursday, November 04, 2010  
Title: The Hilarity of 74  
Author: Gin Nanashi  
Creation Type: FanFiction, "Crack"  
Main Rating: M  
Disclaimer: Gin Nanashi © Gin Nanashi; _Dear 59-kun_ © mangarox14; _Katekyou Hitman REBORN!_ © Amano Akira  
Summary: What happens when you throw a devilish soul into the craziness known as KHR? Simple. Pure, pure crack.

**

* * *

The Hilarity of 74**

_Crack 07: Immortal Soul_

* * *

"Kekeke~!"

The bitter odor of something burning filled 74-sama's Hell as black smoke hovered above. The master was sitting in her chair, shining something with a dirty white cloth. Upon closer inspection, it appears to be a navy headband with a silver metal attached to it. On the metal was an engraving of a leaf.

The master grinned toothily and held up the object, "It's purdyful, isn't it?"

Flames roared from her hand, burning away the washcloth, as 74-sama jumped to her feet.

"Welcome!" She bowed gracefully before straightening with a smirk, "To the seventh chapter of the crack-fic, _The Hilarity of 74_."

"Before I begin…" She held up the accessory again, "I said that this was purdyful, but..."

In her other hand, she held up a smoking thing and cackled, "This is _purr~dier_~!"

It was charred all around though there is a strange resemblance to a certain annoying avian from the previous chapter.

"Kekeke~!" Came the malicious cackle as white fire erupted around the burnt duck, "Now that the annoyance is taken care of…"

It disintegrated into ashes before 74-sama dusted her hands off and smiled, "We can move along~!"

Suddenly, the background turned bright as bubbles sparkled and hearts floated around 74-sama.

She clasped her hands together and squealed happily, "Did you hear about Tsuna-Fish's kiss?'

Her lips curled up into a kittenish grin and she wriggled around, "He was so BOLD!"

A hand on her blushing cheek, 74-sama waved her other arm frantically, "Mou~ I WANT A KISS TOO~!"

She stopped abruptly with a forefinger on her lips, "Especially those chocolate ones…"

A stream of clear liquid steamed from the corner of her lips as 74-sama began to daydream when-

"YA HA! YOU'VE GOT MORE JUNK, FUCKING BOSS!"

-Mailbox-san interrupted.

"That's weird." The master rotated her shoulder before walking over to _The Gates of Hell_, musing aloud, "I wasn't expecting crap today."

As she stood in front of the red box, Mail-box-san wriggled around before spitting forth the parcel.

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!**

Black smoke wafted through the air as 74-sama twitched on the floor, half-disintegrated.

A low growl erupted from her throat before she jumped onto her attached leg and began regenerating with irritation, "MY HELL?"

A scorched paper drifted down and landed in her mostly-gone-but-quickly-healing hand. She blinked as her red eye roamed over the writing before her lips slowly twitched upwards into a fanged grin. She turned the note over, revealing the writing:

_STAY AWAY FROM THE TENTH!_

"KEKEKEKE~!" Came the gleeful cackle of 74-sama, "He really is interesting~! I didn't even notice that he'd place snitch on me~!"

White flames crackled and consumed the paper as 74-sama continued, "I should send a gift to him as well!"

The master waved her hand, creating a rift in hammer-space, before a kitchen fell through and slammed onto the stone floor. Lips curled up in a toothy smile, 74-sama opened the cookbook and flipped through its pages before her eye lit up upon seeing a particular recipe. She flapped a hand at Announcer-san, indicating that her task will take a while. And so, Announcer-san will occupy the audience by recounting a moment in 74-sama's devilish life…

_One boring day, 74-sama was (of course) bored. Why else would the day be called boring? But, Announcer-san is getting off-track and the master is brandishing a knife rather dangerously… Ahem._

_During this day, 74-sama was looking through her closet of various clothes that cannot be counted simply because there are too many. The master pulled several outfits off of their hangers and onto the bed before a lightbulb exploded when she found what she was looking for._

_In her hands were a pair of black slacks, a white short-sleeve button-down, a red sleeveless shirt, a pair of black converses, a black belt, three silver chains, two black bands and one black string._

_Cackling to herself, 74-sama became engulfed in white flames for a moment before it died down to reveal her wearing the outfit. She fiddled with the larger black band on her right wrist before fixing the smaller black band and black string on her left. Clipping a silver chain to the right side of her hips, 74-sama looked at the two chains around her neck: one had a silver plate and one had a green omamori._

_Her lips curled upwards in a kittenish manner as she pulled off her eyepatch, revealing her strange left eye. It glowed briefly before both eyes changed to a light-green color._

_She snapped her fingers as a rift appeared before-_

_Plop!_

_"Muhuhuhu~! My cosplay is COMPLETE~!"_

_- she cackled as a silver octopus made itself comfortable on her head._

_Yes!_

_The master has mastered the art of looking like Hayato Gokudera._

_Most particularly - the hairstyle._

_Truly identical._

_Now then…_

_"MUST. FIND. UMAs!" She declared striking a pose and cackling, "Kekekeke~!"_

_"But!" Came the sudden thought, "Where can a devilish soul find such a being…?"_

_Cradling her chin, 74-sama closed her eyes in thought._

_And so, she thought… and thought… and thought until-_

_"Wait, since I'm not human, does that make me a UMA…?"_

_-and-_

**_BOOM!_**

_-a lightbulb exploded overhead._

_"EUREKA!" She exclaimed before wriggling around with her hands on her blushing cheeks, "I'M A UMA~!"_

_Her canines flashed in a toothy grin before she pointed towards the sunset, "NOW, I MUST GO TORTURE A CERTAIN TAKO HE-DO!"_

_But, as she got ready to prance on ahead with her plan, a certain three-tailed fox held her back._

_Now, you may wonder why Go-chan has three tails instead of two like Announcer-san said in _Crack 02: Go-chan's Return_ and the answer's simple: He got stronger._

_But, moving along, the animal spirit held back his master and nudged her towards her laptop. A look of realization crossed over 74-sama's face before she grinned and smacked a fist into a palm, "Oh yeah!"_

_"It's been a while since I pissed Inu-dera off with a letter!" She exclaimed before cackling as her fingers danced across the keyboard, resulting in the following text:_

Dear Inu-dera,

I'M BAAA~AAACK! Kekekeke~! That was your greeting from my hell. And, guess what? Your ever-insulting-curses-of-an-advice-column has become a huge hit with the UMAs! Aren't you happy? So, how do you feel knowing that you had interacted with a seemingly insane human who's not really human~? Don't you feel special?

Sincerely (Happy),

Silver74

_Re-reading the letter, 74-sama pouted, "Mou~! It's not octopus-bashing~!"_

_On her head, the sea creature tensed and gave the most pitiful expression that it can, which is actually kind of creep-_

**_WHAM!_**

_Announcer-san just got hit by a boulder and so will stop trying to bash the creature verbally and return to his real job to avoid the devil's wrath. Ahem..._

_The master blinked before rubbing it's head and grinning cheerfully, "No worries~! I wasn't talking about you, Tako-san! I was talking about Inu-dera!"_

_It relaxed and returned to its job as a wig as 74-sama cackled and tapped her fingers together, hissing, "Ex~cellent~!"_

_"And now!" She pointed towards the sunset again, "It's time to bash Inu-dera~!"_

_Announcer-san would continue, but-_

**BONK!**

The master has gotten bored of my recounting a random event and demands to return to the present time. The kitchen was a beautiful mess with a variety of leftover ingredients left on the counter including, but not limited to, a viperidae's parotid salivary gland, a malus domestica's seeds, and a latrodectus' chelicerae. Or, to simplify, they're all poisonous parts given the proper dosage.

The master stretched a bit before grinning in satisfaction, "Now, that I'm done with my gift-sending, I do believe that it's time to mess with a certain bomber, yeah?"

Her red eye glinted before white fire obscured the area. Only a moment lasted before it died down to reveal 74-sama standing in front of an apartment. She flashed a fanged grin before kicking the door down, greeting.

"HEY-!"

**BOBOBOBOBOBOBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!**

But, was interrupted by a series of explosions as a familiar silverette appeared with dynamites in hand.

"DIE, STALKER, DIE!" Hayato snarled, waving his weapons around, "THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR STALKING MY PRECIOUS TENTH AND SENDING ME POISON COOKING!"

At the mention of the gift, several veins irked on his temple as he released a killer aura before snapping, "DAMN IT! THE TENTH IS TOO GREAT TO BE SCULPTED WITH SUCH VILENESS!"

The teenager breathed heavily before placing his weapons away.

As he was about to relax-

"Not fair~!"

-a familiar voice whined-

"I didn't even get to greet you properly~! And, it was GOOD cake! Very yummeh~!"

Hayato jumped before giving a very exaggeratedly weirded out look and sputtering, "HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?"

A kittenish grin curved onto her lips as 74-sama rocked on the balls of her feet, "Didn't you get my e-mail? I'm not human~!"

Green eyes bulged out as 74-sama's bangs shadow her face and she cackled out her signature, "KEKEKEKE~!"

The throbbing veins multiplied before Hayato pulled out his dynamites again and roared, "DIE, DEMON!"

The scene fizzes out and becomes full of static snow. Why? Because Announcer-san can be a prude at times and so Announcer-san will not be showing the extremely violet scene. Instead, Announcer-san will play an intermission of four zombies playing poker. Looking at each hand (nothing, a pair, nothing and a straight flush), it's safe to say that the one with the straight flush will win-WHY DID HE FOLD? IS HE A FUCKING RETARD? HE COULD'VE FUCKING WON THE $10000 POT! THAT'S FUCKING $10000! WHY IS HE STUPID? HE'S A FUCKING ZOMBIE! HE EATS BRAINS SO WHY IS HE A FUCKING IDIOT-!

**BOOM!**

The intermission exploded as Announcer-san calmly returns to his job...

Hayato panted heavily and wiped away a trickling bead of sweat, "There. That should do it."

The familiar face of 74-sama popped up behind him and blinked before grinning (not) innocently, "Do what?"

A vein throbbed as one statement echoed.

"FUCK DAMN IT!"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Hehe~ I personally liked this one. :D


	8. Crack 08: Partner in Crime

Date Released: Saturday, November 20, 2010  
Title: The Hilarity of 74  
Author: Gin Nanashi  
Creation Type: FanFiction, "Crack"  
Main Rating: T  
Disclaimer: Gin Nanashi © Gin Nanashi; _Dear 59-kun_ © mangarox14; _Katekyou Hitman REBORN!_ © Amano Akira  
Summary: What happens when you throw a devilish soul into the craziness known as KHR? Simple. Pure, pure crack.

**

* * *

The Hilarity of 74**

_Crack 08: Partner-in-Crime_

* * *

Arms above her head, 74-sama stretched out the kinks in her body before relaxing with a sigh, "Done~!"

Turning around, she grinned kittenishly-

"Hey y'all~!"

-and bowed gracefully, "And welcome to the eighth episode of _The Hilarity of 74_!"

Straightening up, 74-sama clapped her hands together and continued, "Now you're all probably wondering why I'm so happy, right?"

Ignoring the fact that she can't tell what the readers are thinking, the soul continued unperturbed, "I _finally_ finished with the bulk of my paperwork!"

She then proceeded to tick off everything she was forced to do, "I had to write an eight-page researched argument, a five-page scientific paper and a review for another person's essay."

Suddenly, her cheerful disposition evaporated as she sulked, "Now, I have to attend a conference, make a PowerPoint and prepare for two oral presentations..."

A sigh full of a thousand depressed sighs left her lips before she shook her head vigorously and moved her arms in an arc, "Moving along…"

She grinned again, "I have a meeting (that I actually enjoy, for once) with a very important person!"

That said, she disappeared in a flicker of white fire.

* * *

Boot-clad feet touching the ground once more, 74-sama smoothed out her clothes before walking down the streets of Namimori.

As per usual when Kyouya's on-duty (which was pretty much all the time), Namimori was peaceful and quiet.

"TSUNA~!"

Or, it would've been if 74-sama didn't squeal girlishly.

**BOOM!**

And if it weren't for Hayato's explosives.

"HIIIIIIIII~?" Came a third disruption as Tsuna flustered a safe distance from the explosion, "AGAIN?"

The smoke cleared, revealing a small crater in which 74-sama stood while coughing and waving away the smoke before sulking, "I didn't even get five meters in…"

"DAMN IT!" Hayato cursed as a vein throbbed while waving a finger at the soul, "WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD YET?"

The force of his shout nearly flung her away but, being the awesomely devilish soul she is, 74-sama stood her ground while plugging her ears.

As the silverette panted heavily from his rant, the master picked at her ear and rubbed her nails on her shirt before drawling, "You're louder than Ryohei, Inu-dera."

Another vein throbbed as Hayato pulled out more dynamites, "FUCKING DEMON!"

Fortunately, or unfortunately if you're on the bomber's side, a laugh cut through the tension.

"Ahaha~ They get along really well!" The ever-lovable baseball fan smiled brightly.

"Yamamoto!" Tsuna cried (though he didn't know whether they were tears of joy at the interruption or tears of sorrow at his friend's supposed naivety) as Hayato snarled, "WHAT PART OF THIS IS GETTING ALONG?"

Meanwhile, 74-sama threw her arms up and cheered, "YAY! I'M GETTING ALONG~!"

**BOOM!**

"WHO WOULD WANT TO GET ALONG WITH YOU?" The bomber snarled, feeling thoroughly miffed at the prospect.

Tears clung to the corner of 74-sama's eye (though it was blatantly obvious they were fake - OW! … As Announcer-san nurses his gunshot wound, Announcer-san will quiet down and continue like the good servant he is…) as she sniffled, "At least Reborn-san collaborates with me…"

"R-REBORN?" Tsuna screamed as he slapped his face in realized horror before-

**BAM!**

-he fell over as the world's greatest hitman landed on his fluffy brown locks.

"Dame-Tsuna, you're late!" The Sun Arcobaleno frowned, "Mama was expecting you five minutes ago."

"REBORN-SAN~!" The master greeted enthusiastically as the background turned bright and sparkly with dancing hearts - WHAM! … Announcer-san still needs to learn to shut up, doesn't he? Anyway~ Now tending to not only a hole in his incorporeal body but also a large bump on his head, Announcer-san continues with his job.

Pulled from out of seemingly nowhere was a variety of weapons ranging firearms to blades to unknown contraptions as 74-sama grinned kittenishly, "Look here~!"

"So this is where you buy all of your toys!" Takeshi laughed, holding up a flamethrower.

Gripping the handle, he accidentally pressed the switch causing a stream of fire to burst forth before releasing it in surprise.

Silence descended upon the group as a chilling wind carried away a single leaf.

Tsuna stood shock still with a pallid face.

Hayato twitched as a dark cloud hung over him.

Reborn smirked while pulling down his fedora (as Leon copied his expression).

The master grinned (not) innocently.

Takeshi blinked before-

"Ahahaha~ It's so realistic~!"

-laughing in a carefree manner.

The light brunette and his right-hand man fell over at the cheerful comment.

"I know, right~?" The master chirped as the weapon was returned to her while secretly thinking, 'Kekekeke~! Cute, naive Takeshi~! Just keep on thinking that way~!'

"So!" She turned to the suit-clad baby, "Which would you like this time, Reborn-san?"

"The electric chair seems good for today." Came the precise response.

"HIIIIIIIII~?" Tsuna snapped to attention with an adorably fearful expression, "NOOO-!"

A swift kick to his head silenced him as he fell unconscious at the hands (or, rather, _foot_) of the world's greatest hitman.

"T-TENTH?" Hayato immediately panicked over his beloved boss, "WAKE UP, TENTH!"

Ignoring the loud silverette...

"Excellent choice~!" The master chirped with a toothy grin.

(Sadly, Announcer-san cannot add in the hearts, bubbles, sparkles and bright background in fear of getting shot again…)

Returning all of her weapons to her hammer-space, 74-sama bowed lowly, "Thank you again for using my services, Reborn-san! Your selection will be waiting for you at the Sawada residence right about~ now."

"Heh." Came the infamous shadowed smirk of acknowledgement as Tsuna came to.

"What happened…?" He murmured groggily, rubbing his head.

"Tenth! You're alright!" Hayato nearly cried tears of relief but, instead, opted to slam his genius head against the concrete in a bow, "I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING OF NO HELP TO YOU, TENTH!"

"Maa~ maa~" Takeshi grinned, patting the silverette's back, "It's fine-"

"YAKYUU-BAKA! IT'S NOT FINE!" Hayato snapped at the taller male as Tsuna sweatdropped.

"Ano…" The light brunette started while flapping a hand, "It's fine, Gokudera-kun."

"T-Tenth…" The bomber was moved by his boss's forgiving nature before bowing again, "THANK YOU!"

"Y-You're welcome." Tsuna laughed nervously before suddenly remembering, "WAIT! What about-"

**WHAM!**

Reborn's kick forced the mafia boss-to-be to quiet down before the suit-clad baby settled himself on his student's head, "Let's go dame-Tsuna. You need to _study_."

Tears flowed down his cheeks as said brunette hunched over and whimpered, "I don't want to die~!"

Even his soul, which began to float off, was crying before squeaking in fear and returning upon seeing the cute chameleon transform into a gun.

Hayato gaped a bit at the misery portrayed by his boss before swiftly pulling out his dynamites and roaring, "I'LL VANQUISH YOU, DEMON!"

Fire flickered to life before-

**BOOOOOOOOOM~!**

-a great explosion occurred.

As the debris calmed and the smoke aired away, the place in which 74-sama stood was now empty.

Fedora pulled low, Reborn held Hayato at gunpoint and asked rhetorically, "What kind of right-hand man takes out a valuable servant?"

"B-But-!" Came the shaky response from the pale bomber.

Reborn simply cocked his gun.

Takeshi laughed, "What an interesting magic trick!"

Meanwhile, Tsuna slumped over and whimpered, "It's not a magic trick, Yamamoto…"

And, as if that wasn't enough, the familiar piano tune of a certain head of the disciplinary committee played causing Tsuna to panic-

"H-HIBARI-SAN?"

-as said carnivore's cold voice cut in.

"For disrupting Namimori's peace, I'll bite you to death."

* * *

A pained groan echoed in 74-sama's Hell.

The master was laying face-down on her large bed, taking comfort in its softness, before sulking, "Why do I always get bombed?"

A soft whimper from Go-chan sounded as the white fox spirit nudged his nose against 74-sama's cheek with his four tails caressing her otherwise missing body.

She smiled and patted his head before turning to the audience.

"Well," She started with a tired smile, "That's all for now, folks!"

"Hope you enjoyed it!" Came the conclusion before she muttered under her breath, "Who knows when I'll be able to do another one… (Baka Inu-dera!)"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Thank you for reading/reviewing/etcetera-ing _The Hilarity of 74_~!


	9. Crack 09: Childish Masochist

Date Released: Friday, February 11, 2011  
Title: The Hilarity of 74  
Author: Gin Nanashi  
Creation Type: FanFiction, "Crack"  
Main Rating: T  
Disclaimer: Gin Nanashi © Gin Nanashi; _Dear 59-kun_ © mangarox14; _Katekyou Hitman REBORN!_ © Amano Akira  
Summary: What happens when you throw a devilish soul into the craziness known as KHR? Simple. Pure, pure crack.

**

* * *

The Hilarity of 74**

_Crack 09: Childish Masochist_

* * *

Sitting cross-legged on an air board, 74-sama hummed happily to herself as she shook a can of spray paint before pointing to a bland part of the white wall.

Yellow covered the blank canvas before she switched to green to top her masterpiece off.

Finally running out of paint, 74-sama carelessly tossed the can over her shoulder and it combusted into nothingness before turning to grin at today's audience.

"Hey, y'all~ Welcome to the ninth episode of _The Hilarity of 74_!"

She jumped to her feet as the air board flew higher and waved elegantly to the wall.

"And look! I made myself some pineapples!"

Indeed, an army of the yellow fruit of prickliness covered the once-clean wall of Namimori Chuugakou, complete with heterochromatic eyes and a smirk.

Clasping her fingers together, 74-sama sighed happily, "Now I'm this much closer to spreading my evilness~ Oh?"

She blinked as her eyes landed on a certain carnivorous prefect prowling the school for any kind of misdeed.

"Kyo-Kyo~!" The master called out, dancing happily, "I got you a gift~!"

A vein irked on his forehead upon hearing her voice and he turned around before freezing at the brightly colored fruits that adorned his precious school.

"Ne, ne~ Do you like it?"

The master was sparkling much like Italy from _Hetalia_ would when mentioning pasta and, upon closer inspection, one could see cat ears and tail wriggling in excitement.

Meanwhile, the leader of the disciplinary committee seemed to be speechless before his bangs shadowed his face.

His hand crept to the inside of his jacket as darkness exuded from his very being and the dreaded tonfa of doom made its appearance.

"Kamikorosu."

Color draining, 74-sama slapped her cheeks in horrific realization.

'He-He-HE HATES IT!'

Dramatic tears flowed as 74-sama kicked the air board into hyper drive, crying.

"How could you, Kyo-Kyo? I made it with my dastardly love~!"

But the master couldn't finish making her escape as a tonfa slammed into the engine, destroying it.

It makes one wonder - just how did Kyoya throw it that far with enough accuracy?

Oh well, the carnivore himself defies all laws and physics.

… The master too.

Speaking of whom…

THUD!

"Itai~ That was mean, Kyo-Kyo!" The master whined, holding what was left of her air board to her chest, "You really hurt Go-chan!"

As if on cue, the air board glowed and shifted into said fox who was knocked unconscious, complete with swirly eyes.

And just when things couldn't get worse, 74-sama's cushion rumbled from beneath her as a voice sighed.

"Oya, oya? What do we have here?"

Wide-eyed, 74-sama looked down to see a familiar pair of heterochromatic eyes before yelping and scrambling off.

"Nuuuuuuuuu~!" She cried, running away in a very exaggerated manner, "I don't wanna be mind raped~!"

A vein throbbed on Mukuro Rokudo's temple as he brought up his trident to stab the devilish soul when it clashed with a pair of tonfa instead.

Irritation towards 74-sama dissipated as Mukuro smirked at the other male, "Kufufufu~ What a pleasant surprise to see you, Kyoya Hibari."

Kyoya gave a glare so deadly, so malicious and so full of evil intent that the area around him literally darkened before he pushed the pineapple-haired illusionist who, despite being in battle with the fearsome carnivore, somehow managed the time and opportunity to stab Announcer-san.

How is it possible for Announcer-san to get stabbed when Announcer-san has no corporal body will never be answer because Announcer-san must return to commenting on the intense battle between Kyoya Hibari and Mukuro Rokudo lest he wishes to have more harm done onto him.

Metal clashed against metal so intensely that sparks would flash as the males attacked and defended, dodged and retaliated. Each would go for vital areas: the head, the neck, the chest, all were means of incapacitating the other.

They locked weapons once more and directed glares at one another on so intense a level that the air around them could only be described as a wintry gaze of desolate hatred when-

"Fight! Fight! Fight!"

-the master started chanting quite childishly.

Sweat trickled down the faces of the males as they robotically turned to see 74-sama sitting on the school gate, tossing popcorn into the air and catching it with her mouth.

The males, though locked in a life-or-death battle with each other, could only deadpan at the sight that completely and utterly contrasted with their feelings.

Aura shining with child-like delight, the master tilted her head, "What?"

Their weapons slacked in their grips before they pushed away from one another and turned towards her. Bloodlust rising to insurmountable levels, Kyoya raised his tonfa as they glinted in the sunlight as Mukuro twirled his trident, his right eye's symbol changing from 六 to 四 and glowing with indigo flames.

Her red eye blinked one… twice… three times as a wind blew a random tumbleweed across the school grounds before she realized their intent and startled to her feet.

"FU-!"

Her mouth was quickly bounded by the vines of lotus plants that blossomed from out of nowhere and Announcer-san would delve into more details if he wasn't so stingy so the rest of their attempts at… disciplining... 74-sama will be censored.

Thus, Announcer-san will end this episode by recapping one of 74-sama's letter-

_Dear Inu-dera,_

_I'M BAAA~AAACK! Kekekeke~! That was your greeting from my hell. And, guess what? Your ever-insulting-curses-of-an-advice-column has become a huge hit with the UMAs! Aren't you happy? So, how do you feel knowing that you had interacted with a seemingly insane human who's not really human~? Don't you feel special?_

_Sincerely (Happy),_

_-Silver74_

-and providing Hayato's response to it-

_Dear I Know Someone Who Can Keep You Company Down There,_

_No thanks. I've already had a bit too many of those in recent days._

_Well, the UMAs are a bit tied up for the moment, so that's tiring. I'll continue my research at a later event._

_How do I feel? I feel like you need a smack in the face with a pencil for asking me that question._

-before bidding you, the readers, adieu.

The master will return with another installation.

(Sooner or later, anyway.)

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Fuu~ I have become addicted to caramel latte~

And I think it has some strange affect on me too, hence the change in character.

Anyway~ Thank you for reading/reviewing/etcetera-ing _The Hilarity of 74_~!


End file.
